I’ve never shared this WHOLE story before but I believe someone needs to hear it.
For most of my life I wondered if I was enough.
Does your body ever tense up in certain situations? Maybe your heart pounds, your stomach twists in knots, or your mind races? The first instance in my life when I vividly remember my whole body tensing like that came during my first job evaluation as a teenager.
I loved my job. I worked at a clothing store and loved helping people put together outfits. My manager let me dress and arrange the store shop windows in the mall and every time the delivery truck driver unloaded boxes I was giddy with excitement. At the end of three months my manager pulled me aside and said, “I have to do your three month job review! Don’t worry, you’re doing a great job! It’s just a formality!”
We walked through the mall down to Chick Fil A. My gut was so wrenched up I could barely stomach my sandwich. I chewed nervously on my straw attempting to feign confidence. Even more than getting fired, I feared she would see my insecurity. She grinned across the red booth at me and I gulped down my Dr. Pepper feeling like I might puke.
Let’s start with the good news. There’s actually good news, I thought to myself cynically. “You’re getting a raise and a promotion!” she beamed. I sat there stunned. I couldn’t believe it. “But I also have to give you a goal to work on. It’s part of the review.” Every muscle in my legs tightened and my stomach twisted even tighter. “While I appreciate how friendly you are with all of your coworkers and customers, try and tone it down a little. Some people get uncomfortable with how chatty you can be.”
And that was all I heard. You talk too much. She crunched up her sandwich wrapper, slid out of the booth and tossed it into the receptacle behind us. “See you back at the store and congratulations!”
I sat there wanting to cry. I got a raise and a promotion to assistant manager, but I felt like a failure. Not enough. Too much. I felt like I navigated a teetering tightrope trying to find acceptance. My whole body hurt from holding in my emotions so tightly for 20 minutes. At that moment I knew something inside me was broken but I didn’t know what it was or how to fix it.
Jesus Is Enough & That Makes You Enough Too
Flash forward twenty-five years. Yeah, you read that right. A quarter of a century of carrying that insecurity inside me. I loved Jesus. I went to Bible study. I served and even led, but put me in the right scenario and I was right back in that bright red booth at Chick Fil A. Until God brought me through Moses’ story and allowed me to see what it meant to let Him be enough.
When I first started writing Letting God Be Enough Jesus jolted me awake with a vivid dream. I was sitting in that bright red booth at Chick Fil A, wearing the same pink jacket and black skirt with my sandwich and Diet Dr. Pepper. But this time it wasn’t before a supervisor to determine my value, it was my Savior who called me priceless. Jesus slid into the booth across from me grinning.
He took my nervous, fidgety hands in His own. The tension in my body eased as I sensed the warmth and strength of His scarred palms wrapped around mine. He began speaking:
Let’s start with the good news.
I made you.
I know you.
I love you.
I get you.
I am transforming you.
I AM more than enough.
He gave me a gentle squeeze and His sparkling eyes winked as He relaxed back in the booth. His quiet confidence washed over me and I inhaled His presence. I stared at Him speechless.
He prodded, “Now dear child, what was it you wanted to tell me again?”
“Enough,” I whispered so softly I wondered if He audibly heard me.
“Ah, yes!” He chuckled. “I AM More than enough. Will you release that tension you are carrying and trust me?”
In Letting God Be Enough, Jesus led me on a journey of freedom from my insecurity and an awareness of where that fear and tension had originated in my life. Just like He did for Moses. And He wants to do it for you, too.
When you feel like you’re not enough, will you let God Be Enough?
You can find a free sample of the book on YouVersion and begin reading it today! If you’d like to order an autographed copy or have a personalized message included, place an order through Erica’s Every Life Ministries Book Shop.
Jesus is transforming you. He is more than enough for all that you are carrying today.
For more information go to getericasbook.com.
Erica Wiggenhorn longs to bring the truth of Scripture to transform your life. A multi-published, award winning author with Moody Publishers, Erica also writes monthly for Proverbs 31 Ministries on their First 5 Teaching App. A frequent conference and retreat speaker, Erica loves to bring God’s Word to women across the nation. You can find her almost every day on Instagram and she’d love to connect with you there!